AMATURN HOUR PART EAT: THE ROAD TO SUCESS IS PAVED WITH THE BLOOD OF THOUSANDS

Posted: May 23, 2012 in Disaster, Explicit, Movies, OGAP ALPHA, Review, Spoilers, Uncategorized, Very Special Guest Star
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OGAP ALPHA EP-o08 – Drive Down The River, Not Across It

Following their most popular episode to date. P&R follow Daryl’s advice and review Drive, and Drive Angry Shot In 3D Starring Nicholas Cage, and they proceed to fill the review with pregnant pauses and murderous rage…*sigh

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

Patrick snorting some Drive

We tell you something some people don’t want to hear. That Drive is an excellent movie. While it has very little driving in it (much to that one lady’s dismay) It is dripping with style and gore from every pore. While it doesn’t have a ton of violence. What is there is pretty amazing. And pretty painful, it hurts to just think about it (oww).

“No cage can keep Nic in for long”

After an indeterminable amount of time (WHO KNOWS? THEY COULD HAVE JUST EDITED OUT THE PART WHERE THEY WENT TO THE HOSPITAL) they reviewed Drive Angry Shot In 3D. This movie…is fucking nuts! There is copious amounts of sex, violence, sex and violence. shitty(read: awesome) CG, and bludgeoning that would rival any exploitative film. This is BEFORE Nic Cage comes in. Which makes it the best movie of 2011.

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

You can follow this speed addict on twitter @Whats_Ur_Name

Patrick suffers a massive injury by having his wrists slashed by The Rouge 37. Forcing him to go to the hospital in between recordings and making him unable to write the press release for this episode for several months because he had to go through physical therapy with an ex-baseball star to get his wrists working again. We will never forget his sacrifice. Never forgive, never forget.

The Rouge 37

You can follow this homicidal manic on twitter @TheRouge37

Rouge lives up to his name by attacking the co-hosts not once! Not twice!! BUT EIGHT TIMES!!! Killing one host and sending the other to the hospital. It is a most dangerous game here on OGAP

 

 

You cannot follow this frog on twitter because he is dead. Not because he’s a puppet, with no sentience or free will. But because he’s dead. We won’t be seeing him again.

Due to SOMEONE *coughs* ROUGE 37 *coughs* The racist pedophile Mr.Frog was killed live on tape. Making this the first snuff audio podcast ever recorded. But maybe Mr. Frog was asking for it, wearing all that slutty makeup. Maybe…

THE END

POSTMORTEM

Episode No.008

Title: Drive Down The River, Not Across It

Episode Length: 1:03:47

Intro: “Bombshell” by Powerman 5000

Commercial Break #1″: Nightcall” by Kavinsky

Commercial Break #2: “A Real Hero” by College & Electric Youth

Commercial Break #3: Nothing. Just dead silence

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: (OGAP/iTunes) MP3 (Soundcloud) AIFF

Date Recorded: 2-18-12

Date Released: 2-20-12

Date When The Press Release Was Released: 5-22-12

AMATEUR HOUR PART SEVEN HEAVEN: Those congressmen were right. THESE VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES THAT GIVE YOU POINTS FOR MURDERING PEOPLE ARE CORRUPTING OUR CHILDREN! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Posted: January 23, 2012 in Explicit, OGAP ALPHA, Review, Spoilers, Uncategorized, Very Special Guest Star, Video Games
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OGAP ALPHA EP-007 – 21st Century Killing Machines

Multitasking taken to its ultimate conclusion

 

In the longest (and best?) episode yet. P&R (separated by a snowstorm) acquire much needed ethical diversity to the podcast by bringing in Daryl Surat of the Anime World Order podcast to review Bulletstorm and Saints Row The Third. Strap It On.

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

The GOTY's

We all talk about our favorite games from the recently deceased 2011, and P&R’s facade about how they played all the good games of 2011, are shatterd. Because while Pat and Rouge can only name around 4 or 5; Daryl names off like about 8 or 10. We here at OGAP do not have to worry about us losing our professional amateurism badge, anytime soon.

We review the game that everybody brushed off as Juvenile, Stupid, and “A GAME GIVES ME TOO MUCH CONTROL-ICAN’TTHINKFORMYSELFGETTHISTHINGOUTTAHERE!”; Bulletstorm. We laud the storm of bullets as a very fun, strategic game, that’s a fantastic satire of first person shooters. Hopefully as a result, more people will play this game, because as of this writing it’s like $20 on Steam.

We also review Saints Row The Third. You should play Saints Row The Third.

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

You can follow Baby Jones on twitter @Whats_Ur_Name

Patrick realizes that his entire life is nothing more than a lie. But NOT EVEN THAT, is enough to stop Baby Jones from reviewing Saints Row 3 and Bulletstorm.

His favorite games of 2011 were

  • Bulletstorm
  • Saints Row The Third
  • Portal 2
  • Catherine
  • Deus Ex: Human Revolution
  • Resistance 3
  • The Elder Scrolls 5 Skyrim

ROUGE 37

You can follow this hand on twitter @TheRouge37

 Rouge talked to Daryl for minutes thinking that Daryl is Pat Jones. Even though they sound nothing alike. But then–during the conference call on skype–Rouge must have forgotten who he was and changed his own  profile name to Pat Jones. Everyone wants to be Pat Jones apparently…

Rouge’s favorite games of 2011 are

  • Bulletstorm
  • Minecraft
  • Portal 2
  • Saints Row The Third

AND A VERY SPECIAL GUEST STAR

Daryl Surat

You can follow the bat and/or the skeleton on twitter @DarylSurat

 P&R bring much needed ethical diversity & credibility to this episode by recruiting Daryl Surat –One of the co-hosts of the biggest anime podcasts on the internet– to review video games. And Daryl sure shows those Professional Amateurs who’s boss.

Because he has multiple favorite games from 2011, unlike us.

  • Deus Ex: Human Revolution
  • Batman: Arkham City
  • F.3.A.R.
  • Bulletstorm
  • Shadows of the Damned
  • Warhammer 4oK: Space Marine
  • Saints Row The Third
  • The Witcher 2
  • Tatics Orge
  • And he probably has more, but we had to stop him because we got upset at ourselves for not playing these games…

THE END

POST-MORTEM

Episode No.007

Title: “21st Century Killing Machines”

Length: 1:51:28

Intro: “Bombshell” by Powerman 5000

Commercial Breaks 1-3: “Power” by Kanye West

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: MP3(iTunes/OGAP) AIFF(Soundcloud)

Date Recorded: 1-21-12

Date Released: 1-23-12

AMATUREING HOUR Pt. SIX:”I HAVE A DREAM; THAT ONE DAY, I CAN BASH SKYRIM, NOT BECAUSE IT’S POPULAR, BUT OF THE CONTENT OF ITS CHARACTER. THAT DAY HAS COME.”

Posted: January 16, 2012 in ADVERTAINMENT, Explicit, OGAP ALPHA, Review, Spoilers, Uncategorized, Video Games
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OGAP ALPHA EP-006 – Pat Jonez is Just a Hateful Man

Pat Jonez is Just a Hateful Man

FUS ROH DA! In the first episode of the podcast where we review a VIDEO GAME, we review a video game called The Elder Scrolls 5: SKYRIM. Is it kwel? Is it sexist? IS IT RACIST? Is Patrick just being hateful? Listen to find out.

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

SCROLLS 5: SKYRIM

THE OGAP reviews the game that self-diagnosed Aspergers around the internet have been celebrating for months, Skyrim. But apparently, P&R don’t  liek it. APPARENTLY, P&R like games that are well put together, engaging, and have an ending, and APPARENTLY SKYRIM IS NOT A GREAT GAME!!!111! AND THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO THINK THAT GAMES LIKE SAINTS ROW THE THIRD THE BASTION AND PORTAL TOO ARE BETTER THAN A GAME THAT LETS U CUT OFF PEOPLES HEADS AND MOUNT THEM ON THE WALL!!1!

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

You can follow this serial accuser on twitter @Whats_Ur_Name

 Patrick calls out a lot of people on the internet for rewarding bad behavior, and it will probable come back to bite him in the ass. And we learn that he doesn’t like stuff to go on forever; but that’s because he is a HATEFUL MAN. That also probably explains his poor taste.

You can follow Ganondork on twitter @TheRouge37

 ROUGE 37 FINALLY GETS A MONOLOGUE , and; while he agrees with Pat on how SKYRIMS BAD. He likes games that can go on forever (like Minecraft) and he thinks that Patrick has questionable tastes…

THE END

POST-MORTEM

Episode No. 006

Title: Pat Jonez is Just a Hateful Man

Length: 1:29:44

Intro: “Dragonborn” by Jermey Soule

Commercial Break #1: “EPIC SKYRIM RAP” by Dan Bull

Commercial Break #2: “Shout” by the Isley Brothers

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: MP3(OGAP/iTunes) AIFF (Soundcloud)

Date Recorded/Released: 1-16-12

aMATURE HOUR PART F5: THESE GUYS TRACE THEIR STEPS BACK A YEAR IN ORDER TO BASH THE CONNECT, AND THEIR CREDIBILITY IS CALLED INTO SERIOUS QUESTIONING

Posted: January 10, 2012 in Disaster, Explicit, K'THANKZ, OGAP ALPHA, Review, Technology, Uncategorized, Video Games
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OGAP ALPHA EP-005 – Kinect for Xbox, Trolls, and Santa Claus

THAT WILL KILL YOU

In the first episode of the last new year. Patrick and Rouge review the Kinect for Xbox 360. And their credibility is called into serious questioning…

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

"I Know where you live..."

"I know what you did last night..."

"You have been a bad boy, OGAP..."

Get this thing outta here.

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

The Otaku

You can follow this ungrateful "cripple" on twitter, @Whats_Ur_Name

 Patrick did not disappoint this episode. His story of misgiving would have been sad, If he wasn’t A UNGRATEFUL BITCH WHO YELLS AT HIS MOTHER FOR GIVING HIM SOCKS. And apparently, the Kinect crippled him, but IF HE WASN’T WEARING ALL THAT SLUTTY CLOTHING, THEN MAYBE HE WOULD STOP TRIPPING OVER HIS TIE AND STUMBLING UPON THE GROUND.

THE ROUGE 37

You can follow the laughing man on twitter, @TheRouge37

Rouge laughs a lot in this episode…and that’s about it.

THE END

POST-MORTEM

Episode No.005

Title: “Kinect for Xbox, Trolls, and Santa Claus”

Length: 54:45

Intro: “Bombshell” by Powerman 5000

Commercial break 1: “Connect -Game Instrumental-” by Kajiura Yuki

Commercial break 2: “Honeys In The Place” by Aaron Wheeler, Ben Wheeler, & Nigel Thompson

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: MP3 (iTunes/OGAP) AIFF (Soundcloud)

Date recorded: 1-6-12

Date released: 1-10-12

AMATURE HOUR PART 004: THESE TERMINALLY SINGLE PODCASTERS FINALLY GETS SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO THEM

Posted: December 6, 2011 in ADVERTAINMENT, Explicit, Guest Apperence, OGAP ALPHA, Review, Technology, Uncategorized, Very Special Guest Star, Video Games
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OGAP ALPHA EP-004 – Rage Against The Machines: iPhone 4 Directors Cut

Rage...rising!

In the 5th(?) episode of OGAP ALPHA. We review the iPhone 4S, and iOS 5. Pre-reqiusite WARNING! This episode contains profanity, sexism, and RAGE! As such, it is offensive…to everyone.

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

Yes, the OGAP crew finally releases an episode, and its about the iPhone 5 iPhone 4$, We pretty much talk about everything everyone has already talked about, chief among them is Siri, the humble electronic assistant, and we proceed to ask it questions that everyone already asked it, two months ago. If you had the iPhone 3GS and are due for an upgrade, you should get the 4$, if not, then be a little patient and wait for the next iPhone

We played rage. Did you?

Surprisingly enough, we talked about the game RAGE(Which we were going to originally talk about, but scrapped the idea), and it’s not very good. We also talked about stories of irony, rejection,  FLASH, and everything else that makes us play RAGE.

THE HOSTS

Patrick George Jones

You can follow this terminally single man on twitter, @Whats_Ur_Name

Patrick spent the interim between episodes growing out his No Shave November(TM) beard & mustache. During the episode, we find out that Pat Jonez is a very depressed individual, someone aught to drug him up with some Abilify(R)

THE ROUGE 37

You can follow this professional photographer on twitter, @TheRouge37

In this episode, we learn that Mr. 37 is a PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER. That must explain why he is so enthused with the 4$, because it takes excellent pictures (unless you use the flash). Hopefully he won’t regret his purchase of the 4$, but you should always bet on buyers remorse.

Siri

At least it knows it's name

 Siri, the humble personal assistant, dazzled us with all of its powers, such as where to stash bodies, telling the meaning of life, and calling you an ambulance. We feel bad for dragging her out here to do everything that the internet already did six months ago, but what else were we going to talk about? RAGE?

THE END.

POST-MORTEM

Episode No.004

Title:  ”Rage Against The Machines: iPhone 4 Directors Cut”

Length: 1:11:44

Intro: “Bombshell” by Powerman 5000

Commercial breaks 1 & 2: “Rolling In The Deep” by ADELE

Outro: “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott

File: MP3 (OGAP/iTunes) AIFF (Soundcloud)

Date recorded: 12-3-11

Date released: 12-6-11

AMATURE HOUR PART ZER0!: WE ABUSE THE CREATIVE COMMONS LICENSE TO BRING OUT AN EPISODE JUST IN TIME TO MISS HALLOWEEN

Posted: November 6, 2011 in Anime, Disaster, Graphic Novels, Guest Appernences, OGAP ALPHA, Review, Uncategorized
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 OGAP ALPHA EP -000 MOL EP – 31 – Barefoot Gen: It’ll scar u 4 life

GUYS THIS PICTURE IS NSF-oh shit...too late.

In the 4th(?) episode of OGAP ALPHA. We take you to Pat Jonez very first podcast apperence. It was Manga Out Loud with Ed Sizemore, where they reviewed Barefoot Gen, quite possible one of the most terrifying Manga ever made.  To do this, we had to abuse  the creative commons license in order to bring you this episode. Just in time to miss Halloween.

THIS SHOW IS ABOUT

In this particular episode of Manga Out Loud. Ed, Rob, Sam & Pat review Barefoot Gen. The panel comes to a general consensus that , even though it has it’s flaws, this manga is “high art”, and is a must read for anyone.  You can get your own copy and psychologically abuse yourself  by going here.  For those of you who don’t know about Barefoot Gen, allow us to introduce you

(P.S. We here at OGAP are terrible people and is video is one example why.)

THE HOSTS

Ed Sizemore

You can always follow Ed on twitter. @edsizemore

For some reason. Ed decided to let Pat on his podcast to talk about Barefoot Gen (Pat suggested that his persistence, coupled with his contribution to the Manga Moveable Feast about Barefoot Gen, is what landed him on the panel.) He was great this episode, even with Skype and Pat Jonez on his back. He is truly a professional podcaster, unlike us.

BTW he also plugs an article that he wrote about Barefoot Gen, which you can find here.

Sam Kusek

Sam can't not be found on twitter @samkusek

Sam had to deal with the Plague known as Pat Jonez & Skype cocktail. But, against all odds, he came out on the other side.

Sam was also brave enough to host the Barefoot Gen MMF which is here if you’re interested.

Rob

Rob can be found twitter when you search for the username @panelpatter

 Third verse, same as the first, and second.

Rob’s thoughts on Barefoot Gen is here.

OH YEAH,  AND PAT JONEZ

Pat Jonez is: The Otaku

@Whats_Ur_Name ?

For some reason, Pat Jonez ( Who at this time, had never recorded nor been on a podcast) wormed his way into the panel by way of his contribution to the MMF. He almost yolked the episode with his amatureness, but thankfully for everyone, that was not the case. But Pat was given his first taste of podcasting, the consequences of which we may not know for years. But we’ll tell you this, You give an amateur an inch, and they’ll go a mile.

THE END

POST MORTEM

Episode No.004/000 (OGAP) Episode No.31 (MOL)

Title:  ”Barefoot Gen: It’ll scar u 4 life” (OGAP) “Barefoot Gen MMF (Spoilers Warning!)” (MOL)

Length: 59:58 (OGAP) 56:20 (MOL)

Intro:  “Bombshell” by Powerman 5000 (OGAP) “The Real Folk Blues” by Yoko Kanno & Yuho Iwasato (MOL)

Outro:  “On the Seventh Day” by David Marriott (OGAP) “The Real Folk Blues” by Yoko Kanno & Yuho Iwasato (MOL)

File: AIFF (OGAP) MP3 (MOL)

Date Recorded: 11-6-11 ( OGAP) 02-20-11 (MOL)

Date Released: 11-6-11 (OGAP) 02-22-11 (MOL)

OGAP WRAPS UP THE CONCRETE JUNGLES COMICS CONVENTION IN A TASTY WRAP FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT

Posted: October 26, 2011 in Anime, Graphic Novels, Travel, Uncategorized, Video Games
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OHHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

Once upon a time. There was a comics convention in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of. Where there where video games, Playboy bunnies, deloreans, batmobiles, and some comics. And one day, Pat Jonez from OGAP went there to learn about the human condition. These are his stories.

THE FOLLOWING PICTURES ARE UNEDITED 

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Patrick had a very emotional time at NYCC. There he played a sequel to the darkness, Skyward Swords, 3D lands, Dead Islands, and messed with MAX PAYNE 3 and ASURA’S WRATH.  He was very enthusiastic about playing video games at a comics convention, you may look no further than the times when he frequently check his 3DS to see if he got any Street Pass(TM) tags. Street Pass(TM) sure came in handy here, because Patrick faced over a 100,000 people on Saturday and it showed, the halls were packed and it took over ten minutes to navigate the rooms as such. However, Patrick only got 64 Street Pass(TM) tags during the whole trip. As for comics, Patrick didn’t get any, didn’t read any, and didn’t hear anything about comic books. As such , Patrick is left to wonder if New York Comic Con has been hijacked. Because he sees a large booth for The Black Eyed Peas Experience(TM) The Game, but no such equivalent for comics, sans a booth for the Avengers movies.

New York Comic Con is the sloppy seconds for those who didn’t go to San Diego Comic Con, but soon it won’t be. The convention is growing at an alarming rate, and by next year, it will be just as insufferable as SDCC. For these reasons, Patrick Jones closes the book on this tale and scores it 2 Hats out of Five.

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